I had a conversation with an elderly man once who told me he was afraid to go and offer forgiveness to someone for something that had occurred. He was afraid because he wasn’t sure if the other person remembered and he didn’t want to rile them up ‘at this stage of the game.’ I asked him what he meant by ‘at this stage of the game’ and he said, “Oh you know . . . the end of . . .” he paused for along time; “Speaking about the ‘end of my life’ is not always easy.” I found it eased people’s minds for me to ask if they believed in ‘eternal life’ and would then ask if they might consider using the term ‘the end of life as I know it now’ because the Bible tells us we will be changed.
But back to the title of this note – fear of asking someone for forgiveness – It’s understandable that you don’t want to rile up other people if they’ve forgotten about something – but on the other hand, it’s not good for a person to be riled up because they have a need to be forgiven or to forgive. I had been in a similar situation once even though I wasn’t at the end of my physical life, I was at the end of life as I once knew it. After receiving the Holy Spirit and asking the Lord for a more forgiving heart I began a process of preparing in my heart to forgive people who had hurt me in the past and as I was doing that I thought about times that I had perhaps hurt someone and not sought forgiveness thinking they and I would ‘just get over it.’ That’s not a very biblical answer on how to handle our relationships.
When Jesus taught his disciples how to pray he included the words ‘forgive us our sins as we forgive those who sin against us.’ And in another place in Scripture Jesus teaches that we must forgive others if we want to be forgiven and in another place he states if you know have sinned against someone you should go and ask forgiveness from them before bringing your gift to the altar. (It was common in ancient days to offer gifts to the High Priest) That custom has been changed as we believe the gift we give is the gift of ourselves – that we are to become living sacrifices of praise and thanksgiving. Forgiveness is a gift of peace that we receive and give.
There are ways to approach people if you have a need to ask for forgiveness. You can first pray about how to approach them, you can pray for them to be prepared for your request, you can approach softly, not for your own need, but because the Lord might already be working in their life because he desires reconciliation.
Sometimes people are missing from family Christmas celebrations due to a lack of reconciliation. The birth of Jesus is sometimes spoken about as a sign of God’s desire for the world to be reconciled to himself. John 3:16 tells us God loved the whole world so much he gave us Jesus. Jesus’ ministry, his prophetic teaching. healing and preaching was all about reconciliation, helping people to realize that God loves them. To fully experience the peace we sing and talk about during the Christmas and Holiday seasons might take losing a fear of giving or asking someone for forgiveness – it might be the best gift you give each other this year. Continue reading
Praying Our Way Through Stress 